


chassé en tournant

by littleleotas



Series: Hypatia Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: 'hey could you maybe write something for the ot3 that isn't sad' APPARENTLY NOT, F/M, M/M, Memories, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10970142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleleotas/pseuds/littleleotas
Summary: Garrus reminisces on the other love of his life.





	chassé en tournant

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of a moment in 'monferrina', and references both 'lavolta' and up to the second chapter of 'monferrina.'

Sometimes Garrus wondered if he didn’t perhaps have a little drell in him. The thought of Thane brought back memories with such clarity. Thane had told him about the danger of drell eidetic memories – people spending all their time lost in memories they can’t recreate. Garrus understood this all too well, now.

 

_Shepard laughs, tossing her long black curls out of her face. She throws her arms around Thane’s shoulders and he picks her up, spinning her. Shepard’s eyes linger on Garrus in the doorway as she slides down to her feet. Thane turns and smiles at Garrus. They hold out their arms, and Garrus melts into them._

_Suddenly, Shepard pulls them both backwards with her onto the bed. She turns to Garrus with a hand on his chest and interrupts her laughing only long enough to kiss his cheek. Thane’s hand rests on Shepard’s hip. Garrus turns over to place his hand over Thane’s. Thane pushes himself up to meet Garrus in a kiss over Shepard, who attempts to flatten herself to give them more space._

_She hums in satisfaction and they turn to her, all three of them beaming._

*

_"It isn't fair," Garrus says, his voice thick with anger and sorrow._

_Thane gently places his hand to the side of Garrus's face. "Life isn't about what's fair."_

_"I know a good hospital, I can give them whatever they need to help you-"_

_"I am at peace with what must be. I am trying to make the most of the time I have left."_

_"Don't_ say _that," Garrus snaps, turning away from Thane and crossing his arms. "Maybe- maybe there's someone working on a cure, or something, there must be- there must be something."_

_Thane touches Garrus's arm and Garrus flinches. He turns around, his expression tight in an attempt to hold back his emotion._

_"I need you, Thane._ We _need you."_

_"You love me, Garrus, but you don't need me."_

_Garrus shakes his head. He tries to speak but nothing comes out._

_Thane moves in close, wrapping his arms tightly around Garrus. "This isn't a topic we need to discuss now. Right now, we have time."_

 

The memory of Thane's soft kisses on his neck made Garrus flush with heat. Something caught in his throat, stopping his breath, immediately replacing all the warmth with unbearable cold. He bit his tongue shivering.

He swirled the brandy in his glass, staring at the tiny vortex. He took a sip, trying to force his memory back to happier things.

 

_Silhouetted against the sun setting over the Mediterranean, Shepard emerges from the sea, wringing her hair out. Garrus exhales as if he'd been punched in the stomach._

_"We are extremely fortunate, aren't we?" Thane grins at Garrus._

_"Mmm," Garrus hums, his mandibles flaring._

_Shepard beams, shaking her hair behind her as she walks over to the two of them. "What are you talking about?" she asks as she settles herself with her knees on the sand, straddling Thane._

_"How beautiful you are, siha."_

_"Nerds," she mumbles into Thane's neck as she kisses him._

_She pulls back, meeting Thane's gaze with a smirk. His hands graze her hips, making their way to her back as he pulls her close._

_Garrus turns to watch the sunset, but soon feels a hand on his shoulder. Shepard sits on her hip, legs tucked behind her, and she presses her body to his as she pushes herself up to kiss him. He holds her to him with a hand on the small of her back and she moans into his mouth as she pulls herself up with an arm around his neck._

_Her kisses taste of salt, replaced in a moment by kisses tasting of the fruity cocktail Thane had been drinking. Tangled together with them on the sand, Garrus doesn't feel the heat of the sun fade away as it sets._

 

"You okay?"

He turned to see Shepard, his shirt falling off her shoulder and her long black curls tangled and wild. Her voice was gravely, betraying the fact she’d just woken up.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Just thinking.”

She dragged her feet as she walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his back. “’Bout what?”

He took another sip of brandy. “Thane, actually.”

“Mm.” She hugged him tighter.

 

_Everything is cold. The air in the hospital, Shepard's hand clutching his arm, his own blood._

_Thane is in the lobby, facing the sunlight shining through the window. Shepard squeezes Garrus's arm before letting go and walking over to Thane._

_"Siha," he says, breathily. His face brightens._

_She leans down to hug him as Garrus walks up behind her._

_Shepard pulls away and Garrus takes Thane's hand._

_"Garrus," says Thane._

_Shepard takes Thane's other hand, pressing it to her lips. The concern on her face is uncharacteristically plain. "How are you?"_

_Thane gestures to the seat opposite him, which Shepard takes, pulling closer so she can continue gripping his hand._

_"I don't believe any of us are under any delusions about how I am. How are you?"_

_"Thane," Shepard pleads._

_He sighs. "I will not improve."_

_She swallows. "Yes you will," she says, furrowing her eyebrows._

_Thane lets out a small laugh that quickly turns to coughs. Garrus, still holding Thane's hand, puts his other hand on Thane's back._

_Shepard looks up at Garrus. The mask of Commander Shepard hasn't been directed at him in a long time,  
and now is no exception. The terror, sadness, and worry he sees more and more often in her face has an additional element this time that he can't quite place. She looks like he felt the last time he saw his mother. As if her heart was out of her chest, beating in front of her._

_"Siha," Thane whispers._

_"Thane, come with us," Garrus says._

_Thane looks up at him wordlessly._

_Garrus continues. "You don't want to die here, and you won't have to go on missions, just...just come with us."_

_"You know I can't do that," Thane says softly, putting his hand over Garrus's._

_"Why not?" Shepard demands. She shakes, though from anger or the effort to keep from crying, Garrus can't quite tell._

_Thane squeezes both their hands. "I need attention here. It is not the end I would have chosen, you are right about that, Garrus. But I have you, and I have Kolyat. I am at peace."_

_A tear falls from Shepard's eye as she takes a deep, ragged breath._

_Thane looses his hand from her grasp and wipes the tear away. "My love will be with you wherever I am not."_

_She places a hand over his, holding it to her face._

_Garrus kneels down next to Thane's chair and Thane turns to him._

_"Take care of each other."_

_"We will," Garrus whispers._

_Thane presses his forehead to Garrus's._

 

“Every time I told him something was hard, he said-“

“’All things worth keeping are,’” Shepard finished his sentence.

“Yeah. I just keep hearing him in my head when I’m thinking about how hard things are. Still.”

“I suppose it was foolish of us to expect things to be easier now.”

“Maybe.”

 

_Garrus straightens his tie, or rather, fidgets with it, as his fingers refuse to do anything remotely helpful with the tie. He looks in the mirror with a sigh. 'Well, you're not going to start being the pretty one in this relationship today,' he thinks._

_"Hey," James pokes his head around the doorway. "Five minutes?"_

_"Yeah," Garrus replies._

_James pauses. "You okay, Scars?"_

_Garrus nods._

_James looks unconvinced, but leaves the room._

_"Looking forward," Garrus says to himself. "Forward."_

_Any lingering melancholy he feels disappears when he sees Shepard. The Vakarian markings painted on her face make his stomach flip, but the main thing is her smile. The years of stress and loss and toil are invisible in this moment. She radiates. He sees her like this every now and then, when it's just them.  
That look on her face in broad daylight, though...that is something else._

_She hands her bouquet to Liara, and Garrus takes her hands in his._

_He feels a weight, pushing their hands together._

_Shepard looks up at him, the joy of realisation plain on her face._

_She closes her eyes, and Garrus swears he hears Thane's whisper: "I love you, too."_


End file.
